Meticulous grooming and a bit of theatrical flair fooled most people. When Carole acknowledged an acquaintance, the woman looked up and half-shouted over the bin of bananas, “You look well. Really well.”

Wear a big smile and a colorful scarf, Carole thought, and no one notices your white-knuckled grasp on the grocery cart. Her son and daughter-in-law would be harder to convince. They would see the lines of fatigue that creased her face and know the rheumatoid arthritis controlled her life.

Tonight’s visit worried her. It was unusual for them to arrive midweek and ask to stay overnight. She suspected they might come armed with a checklist, possibly titled Assessing your aging parent’s competence for independent living.

Well, she’d be ready. Those questionnaires were always the same: Are the plants watered? Is the house clean? Are the cupboards and refrigerator stocked?

Her ivy plant appeared to be well hydrated, her neighbor Nancy Logan was vacuuming Carole’s home right now, and at the checkout her groceries totaled one hundred fifty-three dollars.

Carole confidently wheeled the cart to her car, but her energy faded as she stowed the bags in the trunk. A bird flew overhead screeching, “Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha,” and for a brief moment she felt hot, faint, and totally defeated.

The arthritic and debilitating condition had come on suddenly, and her doctor had promised it might resolve itself every bit as abruptly. In the meantime the slightest exertion left her achy, fatigued, and slick with sweat. On the trip home she clung to the steering wheel with moist hands and drove extra carefully.

Nancy emerged from the house as Carole parked her aging station wagon and said, “You go in and sit down. I’ll bring in the groceries, and then we’ll have coffee.”

Carole complied and waited at the glass kitchen table for her friend to bring in the white plastic bags. A year ago she and Nancy were tennis partners, and now so much had changed. She tried not to envy her friend’s grace and athleticism, and nightly she offered a prayer of gratitude for her loyalty. She hoped if their situations were reversed, she would be equally as generous.