A conceited rookie pitcher walked five men in his first game. The manager promptly removed him from the mound. The rookie slammed his glove on the ground and yelled, “I can’t believe he took me out—I had a no-hitter going!”
A little boy asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” Mentally polishing her halo, she said, “No, how are we alike?” He responded, “You’re both old!”
Toddler Property Laws
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hands, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you,
4. If I had it a week ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m building something,
all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine,
8. If I think it’s mine, it’s mine.
9. If it’s near me, it’s mine.
10. If it’s broccoli, it’s yours.