May-June 2015
She’s Doing What!?
A mother and her youngest daughter wrote out the Ten Commandments and posted them in their home. Not long after, the youngest reported that her older sister was sinning. The mother asked why, and she replied, “She is committing adultery.” Later, the parents had a private conversation with the youngest daughter. “I understand you think your sister is committing adultery,” the father said. “Why do you say that?” “Well,” the youngster replied, “she is always trying to act like an adult!”—©JoyfulNoiseletter.com
From the Mouths of Babes
A father was in church on Easter with his three-year-old daughter, who asked, “Daddy, why did Jesus die on the cross?” “To save us from our sins,” her father replied. “Was everybody sad?” “Yes,” the father replied, “everybody was sad.” But after seeing the concerned look on his daughter’s face, he added, “But then two days later, on Easter, he came back to life, and everybody was happy!” “Well, where is Jesus now?” she asked. The man thought for a minute. “He’s everywhere….He’s here with us, in this church.” The girl looked around the church, her eyes finally resting on the crucifix over the alter, and asked, “But Daddy. Why did Jesus come back as a statue?”—Robert M., CA
Moms of the Famous Might’ve Said…
Michelangelo’s mother: “Mike, can’t you paint on the walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”
Abraham Lincoln’s mother: “Again with that stovepipe hat, Abe? Can you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
Albert Einstein’s mother: “But Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?”—REV. JIM WEST, MO ©JoyfulNoiseletter.com
From “Lucid Intervals” © Liguorian, 1961
Judge: It seems to me that his case could have been settled out of court.
Plaintiff: That’s what we were doing, your honor, when this policeman here stopped the fight.
******
Customer to clothing store clerk: Could I try on that suit in the window?
Clerk: Sir, we’d rather you use the dressing room.
