September 2014
Heavenly rank
My father was stationed at the U.S. Military Academy in West Point, NY, when I was a young girl. Every “Army brat” who lived on the post was very aware of the acronym R.H.I.P., which means, “Rank has its privileges.” My mother taught a religion class at the Catholic chapel on the post. One day, she was attempting to explain to second-graders there is more than one kind of angel. Upon hearing of archangels, principalities, powers, virtues, dominions, thrones, cherubim, and seraphim being above ordinary angels, one little girl responded: “Don’t tell me they pull this rank stuff in heaven, too!”—MARY ELLEN M., CA
Inspirational
On Easter Sunday, as was an oldtime custom, I dressed in my finest, put on what I considered to be a beautiful hat, and walked the three blocks to church. My heart was filled with joy! As I was walking down the aisle at church, I heard a female voice say loudly: “Oh, God.” With a smile on my face, I walked to the front of the church so I could easily hear the homily without distraction. Still chuckling about it, I told the story to my daughter. She replied, “See, Mom, you inspired someone to pray.” A sense of humor is one of God’s greatest gifts.—WANNA LEE B., WA
Answers
When I was teaching the passion of Christ during Lent, I asked my sixth-grade class, “Who betrayed Jesus? Who was the traitor?” One boy immediately responded, “Joe.” It turns out he loves shopping at Trader Joe’s!—SR. MARY, CT
Realities
- Vital papers will show their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can’t find them.
- If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
- The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
- A conclusion is the place you come to when you get tired of thinking.
- Experience is something you don’t acquire until just after you need it.
Fruitless
Many years ago, a young cousin told me the following joke: What did the honeydew melon say in response to the watermelon’s sudden proposal? I can’t elope.
