Words That Change Hearts
It’s really hard to say “I’m sorry.”
Maybe it’s a pride thing. We want to believe we’re good people, and rightly or wrongly, admitting fault calls that into question. Plus, it leaves us vulnerable. There’s always a chance that the other person won’t accept our apology. We no longer have control over the direction of the relationship—we’ve given the control to someone else.
However, as difficult as it is to say “I’m sorry,” it’s even more difficult to say “I forgive you.” In fact, most people don’t say it at all. They tend to say “It’s OK” or “Don’t worry about it” even though clearly it was not OK, or an apology wouldn’t have been necessary.
The words “I forgive you” feel incredibly presumptuous. It’s as if we’re putting ourselves on a pedestal of self-righteousness: Look at me; I’m so holy I can forgive you. It seems better for the relationship if we pretend we were square in the first place.